How Online Couples Therapy Supports Couples
- Terri Kern
- Oct 11
- 6 min read
My counseling practice has always offered online couples therapy. When I started it over ten years ago I also saw people in person for about a year; then I realized how much more efficient and less stressful it is for couples to meet in their own space.
You can imagine how busy I got during COVID. Partners suddenly locked down together in the home with all the stuff in each of their faces. Marriage and divorce rates dropped during because the courts were closed. The real story came after the world opened back up.
In the United States, the United Kingdom, and China, divorce rates surged at times higher than pre-pandemic rates. Couples could no longer ignore the perpetual issues that they put on the back burner for, as research tells us, an average of six years.
Much of the theme in couples counseling is the same; one partner is typically focused on career and earnings while the other partner over-functions on the home front. Neither partner is doing anything wrong in that regard so it's a hard dynamic to address.
When this happens, many couples fall into all the pitfalls of how not to handle a conflict. This is usually the point couples start to work with me. Both are frustrated because they both feel like they're contributing to the household in a meaningful way; and they're both right!
So now what do they do?
Communication is the first challenge to tackle
At the root of every ongoing issue that makes you feel like you're living in groundhog's day repeatedly is the quality of communication between the partners. People have a lot of mythical beliefs about relationships and what constitutes healthy interaction.
Couples often face communication barriers, stress, and unresolved conflicts that can strain their bond.
A young stay at home mother needs adult connection and relies on her husband when he gets home from work. His ADHD brain is depleted from interacting with people all day and he needs time to reset so that he can focus on being present at home.
They've argued so much about this dynamic - the hour after he walks in the door - and yet, day after day they both know it continues, neither expressing themselves in a productive way nor recognizing nobody is in the wrong.
Fortunately, virtual counseling has emerged as a convenient and effective way for couples to work through issues like this. What I find helpful is to catch people in their natural environment which brings their guard down.
This blog post explores how online couples therapy can support relationships, offering practical advice and insights to help couples thrive. I'll give you research and anecdotal trends I see in my practice.
The Rise of Online Couples Therapy: Convenience Meets Connection
Online couples therapy has really revolutionized how partners seek help. Unlike in-person sessions, virtual counseling offers flexibility and accessibility. Couples can attend sessions from the comfort of their homes, eliminating travel time and scheduling conflicts.
Virtual counseling has been studied intensely over the last ten years and it's found to be equally as effective as in-person counseling. This is important because virtual counseling offers assistance to people who otherwise wouldn't have access to help. Rural areas and also people who have transportation issues.
It's not for everyone and that's ok; if you and/or your partner feel more comfortable having butts in seats in an office I encourage you to do that for sure! 👍
Benefits of online couples therapy include:
Flexible scheduling: Many people fit in a 60-minute session into their lunch hour or other times they're available throughout their day.
Comfortable environment: Couples feel more relaxed in familiar surroundings.
Access to specialists: Geographic barriers disappear, allowing access to expert therapists.
Privacy: Sessions can be more discreet, reducing stigma.
For example, a couple juggling work and parenting responsibilities can schedule a session during their children’s nap time without worrying about childcare or commuting. This convenience encourages consistency, which is crucial for progress in therapy.
How Online Couples Therapy Enhances Communication Skills
One of the most common reasons couples seek therapy is to improve communication. Virtual counseling provides a structure where partners can learn to express themselves clearly and listen actively.
When partners are in their own space they tend to be more authentic versus sitting in an office where people become more muted. I am very attuned to both partners - even remotely through video. I have a long history of training in body language, verbal and non verbal communication, which is what makes me a unique fit for virtual treatment.
A good couples therapy session is when partners face each other and speak their truth in an honest and respectful way, eyeball to eyeball. Each partner should talk to each other directly, where the therapist is coaching rather than participating.
If the honesty is hurtful to the other partner, we work in real time on coping skills to help support that partner. Equal to speaking truth to partner is being a great listener while you feel your feelings about the truth your partner is sharing.
Therapists teach partners various techniques to foster better communication, such as:
Reflective listening: Partners repeat what they heard to ensure understanding.
I-statements: Expressing feelings without blaming the other person.
Time-outs: Pausing heated discussions to prevent escalation.
During online sessions, therapists can observe interactions and guide couples through exercises tailored to their unique challenges.
For instance, I might assign a “daily check-in” practice where each partner shares their feelings for five minutes without interruption. This simple habit can build empathy and reduce misunderstandings.
Building Intimacy Through Virtual Counseling
Hey guys - want to have more sex with your wife? I have a sure fire way that you can drastically increase your chances of having a healthy sex life - be an emotionally intelligent husband.
And ladies - want to have a husband who understands you and anticipates your needs regularly? Stop expecting him to mind-read, tell him exactly what you need without dropping a sledgehammer into his gut when he walks in, and focus on filling your tank before anyone else's!
Emotional intelligence is the foundation of a strong relationship. It involves making your partner feel safe, understood, and valued every day. Cracks in the foundation of an intimate connection start when past hurts get swept under the carpet, or any of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse behaviors exist in the communication.
Online couples therapy helps couples reconnect emotionally by addressing barriers such as past hurts, mistrust, or emotional distance.
Therapists often use techniques like:
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): Helps partners identify and express vulnerable emotions.
Attachment-based approaches: Explore how early experiences affect current relationship patterns.
Mindfulness exercises: Encourage present-moment awareness and reduce anxiety.
For example, a couple struggling with emotional withdrawal might learn to recognize their triggers and practice vulnerability in a supportive environment. Over time, these efforts can deepen their bond and foster a sense of security.
Practical Tips for Making the Most of Online Couples Therapy
To maximize the benefits of virtual counseling, couples should consider the following tips:
Choose a quiet, private space: Minimize distractions to create a safe environment. I strongly recommend you get a babysitter for the kids so that you're focused on each other and your kids aren't listening to adult issues.
Use reliable technology: Ensure a stable internet connection and test your device before sessions. Most devices work really well; while technical issues happen they really don't occur that much.
Be open and honest: Transparency helps therapists tailor their approach. Before the first session write this down: what do you want the therapist to know about you, your relationship, and what you want to get out of therapy.
Commit to homework: Practice skills and exercises between sessions; that's where the change happens. Sessions are for reviewing and solving problems.
Schedule regular sessions: Consistency supports steady progress. I know that life gets busy, but starting and stopping may make things worse.
Additionally, couples should discuss their goals with the therapist at the outset. Whether it’s improving communication, resolving conflicts, or rebuilding trust, clear objectives help guide the therapy process.
If you are looking for professional support, consider exploring online couples therapy ohio for experienced therapists who specialize in virtual counseling. Of course, I hope you consider working with me at Great Lakes Counseling Group!
Exploring More Relationship Advice and Resources
If you want to dive deeper into relationship topics, communication strategies, and self-care tips, check out our Advice blog. It’s packed with valuable insights designed to empower you and your partner on your journey.
Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Virtual counseling offers a modern, accessible way to nurture your relationship and build a lasting connection.
Embracing the Future of Relationship Support
Virtual counseling is more than a trend - it’s a powerful tool that adapts to the realities of modern life. By embracing online couples therapy, couples can overcome barriers, enhance their connection, and create a healthier, happier partnership.
Whether you’re facing specific challenges or simply want to strengthen your bond, online therapy provides a flexible, effective path forward. Take the first step today and discover how virtual counseling can transform your relationship.
For more helpful articles and expert advice, visit our Advice blog and stay connected with a community dedicated to relationship wellness.
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