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How to Find the Right Couples Counselor

Updated: Sep 17, 2023

A couple near water
Find the right couples counselor

How to find the right couples counselor near me

By the time you start looking for a couples counselor, the relationship is already in peril. It’s important to find the right couples counselor quickly in order to begin the process of healing and reconnecting before things get worse.

To that end, I want to teach you how to find the right couples counselor using the search term, "couples counselor near me."

When done right, couples counseling can improve the understanding between partners to clear a path for decision-making and clear communication. The key is ensuring you’ve done enough research.

Finding the right couples counselor can begin the process of reconnecting you with your partner. If you’re ready to find a counselor to improve communication and connection in your marriage, then follow these simple steps to avoid wasting time.

1. Decide on In-Person or Virtual Couples Counseling

Begin by discussing the question with your partner. Research shows that virtual therapy is just as effective as in-person, so don’t feel pressured to drive all the way to an office if that doesn’t suit your schedule.

Some partners find that they are most comfortable with couples counseling if they can engage in the sessions from the comfort of their home. Virtual counseling also allows more flexibility depending on unpredictability in the work or travel schedules of each partner.

Attending sessions virtually also offers privacy and discretion that puts some people more at ease. This creates a safe space for open and honest discussions.

Other people may find that they prefer face-to-face interaction in order to build trust with a new counselor. There are pros and cons to both options, so choose the one that you know you will be most likely to stick with.

2. Look For Specialized Training in Couples Counseling

As therapy has become more normalized, the demand for couples counselors has created specialized niches. To help narrow your search, be sure to find counselors that only focus on couples and therefore have a wealth of experience in healing intimate relationships.

Couples counselors take a completely unique approach to the therapeutic process that is distinct from a counselor who works primarily with individuals.

Couples come into counseling in the following phases: Connection, Repair, Ambivalence, Separation, Divorce. A couples counselor will assess the phase in which the couple presents by diagnosing the cause of the issue, whereas a counselor without specialized training will likely focus on solving the symptoms rather than the root cause.

Couples counseling even includes niches that address specific issues placing a strain on the relationship, such as counselors that specialize in healing after infidelity.

Some questions to consider in your search:

This stage is also the right time to think about how to pay for couples therapy.

Some counselors accept insurance, and some do not, although there are affordable options and payment plans that make counseling accessible for all. Many employers offer Employee Assistance Programs that can help offset the cost of counseling.

3. Treat the First Session Like a First Date

After selecting a specialized couples counselor that meets both of your needs, prepare for the first session by brainstorming a few questions to help you get to know your new couples counselor.

Some questions to ask in your first session:

  • What is your approach to couples counseling?

  • What percentage of your patients find success after sticking with your sessions?

  • How do you know when a relationship is successful?

  • Have you ever recommended separation or divorce to a couple in counseling?

  • Do you have experience in same-sex couples counseling?

  • Have you worked with couples that enjoy diverse expressions of sexuality in the past?

  • What can I expect from you in a session? What will you expect from us in a session?

You want to be sure that your couples counselor fully understands your lifestyle in order to foster a stronger connection between you and your partner.

4. Dedicate Yourself to the Treatment Plan

Consistency and perseverance through sessions is crucial to ensuring lasting success. Some sessions will be emotionally draining, triggering, or painful.

The instinct to step away from things that cause us emotional distress is normal, but the most important thing is that you stick with it. Even as surface-level indicators start to improve, be sure you continue attending scheduled sessions.

Let your counselor know when you’re feeling overwhelmed, and be open about what does and doesn’t feel helpful. Be sure you are willing to reflect on how your own behavior has contributed to the state of your relationship, and be open to the belief that anything is possible if you are fully dedicated.

There are likely deeper problems that will take some time to resolve. It’s important to discuss an appropriate timeline for withdrawing from couples counseling so that both partners feel that the relationship has been fully healed.

5. Evaluate Couples Counseling Effectiveness

Depending on the types of problems you and your partner are experiencing, your therapist will likely check in on the efficacy of your sessions after 90 days. There may be smaller, incremental improvements even earlier, and you should be sure to celebrate these small wins.

If you feel it’s time to find a different couples counselor, letting your current couples counselor know what went wrong may help you in your search to find a better fit for next time.

Some couples counselors may even be able to refer you to specialists that can address unique needs, such as specialized sex therapists.

Now that you know what it takes to find the right couples counselor, you're ready to begin your search. Hopefully, you’ll start to feel improvements in your relationship after several sessions.

Ready to take the first step? Find out if couples counseling can improve your marriage.

Call 833-934-3573 for your free, no-obligation consultation or Book an Appointment.


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Unknown member
Nov 15, 2021

I never considered virtual counseling, will have to check that out.

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