I'm tired of the communication problems between us.
Problems with communication is the most common issue couples present to me in therapy.
We learn how to communicate from a young age; with our caretakers, siblings, other family members, friends, teachers, and so-on. We bring these learned behaviors into our relationships, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Occupation with technology, parenting, work stress, and conflict avoidance are sometimes the "perfect storm" for a couple to feel disconnected.
The Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse depict the end of times in the new testament. It's also used as a metaphor to predict the end of a relationship.
Criticism is an implication that t there is something wrong with the person being criticized.
Contempt is when one person makes fun of or puts the other partner down.
Responding to a complaint with a counter-complaint about your partner, or not owning your shit in the relationship.
Avoiding conflict, the "silent treatment," or running from the complaining partner is stonewalling.
I will teach you to identify the Four Horsemen when you and your partner address conflict and help you work towards eliminating them. I can work with you to replace them with healthy, productive tools. The result is openness and honesty so that you can complain without causing World War Three!
The ability to identify the Four Horsemen in your conflict discussions is a necessary first step to eliminating them, but this knowledge is not enough. To drive away destructive communication and conflict patterns, you must replace them with healthy, productive ones.